Late October
It has been a strange October, one which finds me seeming to be behave simultaneously in contradictory ways:
Trying to start too many projects at once while settling into stillness.
Being so inspired by the glorious colors of autumn yet feeling unable to pick up a paintbrush.
Wanting to do so many things indoors and outdoors but being still while looking and listening to the leaves floating or diving down.
It’s all so strange, yet somehow it feels just right for these late October days in my neck of the woods. I am feeling no frustration over it. It feels more right for me than the frantic gaudy pre-Halloween preparations going on around me. There are no young children in my family so I do not do more than buy a huge bag of candy to hand out, and smile at the inventiveness at some of the kids’ costumes.
This October is, for me, my final leap out of the isolation that began with the Covid lockdown. I have found a new church and am meeting new people. I put a missing piece in the puzzle that is me by joining the choir, bringing music back into my life. I am working on my singing skills and getting over my stage fright. We are already practicing for a Cantata to kick off the Advent season.
I am back to an in-person watercolor class, where I am finally learning to be more patient and working with the water on its own timeline. I have to get used to painting on a quarter sheet after so many years of painting in smaller formats. I found a few hours to push this one along yesterday outside of class.
There has been much unpointing and repainting here. The background is done and the midground needs value adjustment. I need to sketch in the big blank rock on the left and put some more layers and detail into the rock in the right foreground. One area near the big rock bears the scars of the scrubbing brush in ways I can’t quite correct.
It is not going to be fameworthy but I feel that it shows me I am making progress. When I view it from across the room, it is looking pretty good.
I also signed up for an October acrylic painting event online, and so far have only done three of the paintings. I will download all the reference photos and continue at my own pace. So far, working in acrylics is reminding me that I actually prefer gouache as an opaque medium.
I am spending less idle time online most days. That is a good thing, except I haven’t been reading all your substack news as much.
I have been knitting more currently working on a simple garter stitch ribwarmer, having just finished a sequence knitting scarf from scrap yarn.
I have been reading more books lately as well. I am finishing up the October re-read of Wintering. I am also working through Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah —a difficult read about his life as a child soldier in Sierra Leone. There will be much to discuss in book club about this one. It has me thinking today about how neighborhood kids will confront the pretend spookiness of Halloween, while there are places in the world where children grapple with horrors we can scarcely get our heads around. Some of the places where children are victimized are also close to home. Too much newsprint space in our regional paper this morning about sexual predation upon children.
I sewed a tunic type shirt for myself from a zero-waste pattern I found via Substack. I bungled part of it, but it’s wearable as an overblouse and it used up yardage I had on hand. I would have preferred set-in sleeves or raglan sleeves though. Scrap fabric is not a problem for me, I’m a quilter who loves scrappy patterns.
We have been walking more often—usually shortly after sunrise before the sun clears the treeline. These are all steps in a good direction. Steps toward better health. Steps toward peace.
If I had seasons like this in the past, I would struggle to get past them by doubling down on busy-ness, and ending my day frustrated by failure to get it all done.
In this year, at 67, I am learning to be at peace and follow whatever inner inspiration is pushing me to be like the leaves of Autumn that paradoxically drench the sky with glorious color and descend to stillness within such a small span of weeks.
After a restful October, November will be time to push on outdoors: clear the garden, stow the patio furniture and bag the leaves while bracing against the cooler weather. Month’s end will bring the adult children home for Thanksgiving
How has your October unfolded? Same as always or has it brought you any new insights? I would love to read about it in the comments.
Autumn is a beautiful time of year, isn't it? Lovely to read your update - like you, I have not had much time recently to read on Substack and feel I am missing out! You have made a wonderful start on your watercolour painting, I particularly like the way you have treated the reflections. I look forward to seeing the finished piece, fameworthy or not.
Each fall as the leaves release and nature readies itself for rest I have found it difficult to let it be my guide. Always rushing to get things done before the holiday season or the time change makes shorter days seem even shorter. But this season probably due to my recent surgery and long recovery, I’m settling in to fall easier. Your watercolor painting is seasonally on point for mood. Keep going it’s amazing how many lessons each attempt teaches us if we let it. I’m find neither acrylic nor gouache satisfy my love of transparent pure color as much as watercolor and saturated color pencil work. I’m playing with ink and adding it to my fun with mixing media. But I just can’t get comfortable sitting for long enough to do much currently. So I’m reading and crocheting. We brought in some tender plants for the impending frost which will probably come soon. For the first time in 49 years I couldn’t do it myself which was frustrating. But they are in and safe from frost. My lemons are just starting to yellow!